Do you fit in to stand out?


A child rings the doorbell to ask if my daughter can go to the park. I hum and haw and then, here they come, one thought after another. It's freaking hot out, she was sick yesterday, we have baseball tonight, I don’t want to go to the park to get her if she doesn’t answer her phone and so on. So I say "not today" and send the friend away. Well, my little girl comes rushing down and asked if I sent her friend away. I say "yes." She then proceeds to say "okay I will go see if my other friend can come over and play."


The Tears


Wait for it...the other friend has gone to the park too. My daughter comes home in tears, it’s the end of the world…she is missing out. Inside I feel that little girl that wants to be included and not miss out on a thing. Now, my daughter is still a little young but soon those feelings will be a real thing. They will be that special moment at the park when Johnny jumped from the top of the play structure and it was so freaking awesome (insert excited squeeeeal) and everyone was there to see it but you. Oh, and it's the topic of the day next day at school. You stand on the outside of the circle now and feel like an outsider when all you desperately want is to “fit in.”


Always Climbing


These feelings seem to be part of an uphill battle that happens for many more years to come. You know that one night when you couldn’t make it out with the popular girls and, in your absence, they had a revelation you weren’t cool anyways. If only you had been there that night, things may have turned out differently. Unfortunately, I felt this way well into my adult life. Then one day it clicked…What am I chasing? Who am I chasing? Is this the life I am meant to live? Do I really need a new camping trailer to sit in my front yard with my brand new truck attached just like everyone else on the street?


Judging, judging, judging


The ability to judge another human being is so strong in some people, they have this absurd ability to make you question yourself and the way you live your life. The thing is, there is nothing you can do about them judging you, they are going to do it regardless. What you CAN do, is realize that they are likely only judging you because putting you down or nitpicking you makes them feel better. The sooner you can step away from this and remove yourself from being around these people the better. Those dark clouds will always pull you down and "rain on your parade."


The shift


I was in my late 20’s when I realized I was tired of proving who I was, trying to convince people to like me, and always wanting to be included in whatever events were happening. I decided to like me for who I am and I was going to do things my way. There are still so many areas of my life where I succumb to these feelings, as it seems to come creeping back. However, I choose to not fit in. I would rather stand out as me, my unique, swearing, wear my heart on my sleeve type of gal.


Save yourself, you got this


Save yourself now and stop comparing you to everyone else around you. Love you as you are and stop trying to "keep up with Joneses." Stop comparing your backyard to the backyards on the block, your car to the neighbours brand new SUV with the third row, how the family two doors down seems to be so happy together all the time or how Becky across the street always seems to have the right outfit with the right shoes. Stop it! Be you! Do you!


Look inside, feel the fire?


Look inside to what you love. What sets your soul on fire? What creates that happy ball of joy that wells up in your chest, so large you feel you could explode? What makes you float in the clouds with a massive smile from ear to ear? Soak up the joy and feel every inch of it. Don’t let your conscious or unconscious comparisons ruin your day-to-day life.


“Comparison is the thief of happiness.”


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